Five Notoriously Bad Parkers

We all know them. In fact, you may even be among them. (Not that you’d ever admit it.)

Here’s a list of the most notoriously bad parkers you’ll ever encounter in a lot.

The Vulture: Like a bird of prey, the Vulture carefully sizes up parking lots and people in their search for a spot. Vultures are known for their tense position as they scope out—and stalk—anyone likely to leave. Once you pull out, you can bet they’ll swiftly swoop in to take your abandoned spot.

The Double Parker: Clearly defined lines mean nothing to the Double Parker, who insists on taking up more than his fair share of space. You’d think the Double Parker feared damage to his slick new car—yet ironically, Double Parkers’ rides are typically more beat up than beautiful.

The Speed Demon: This parker believes that speed = parking spot. He’s the one driving in no-go zones (sidewalks, loading docks, etc.) and zipping by at entirely unacceptable speeds. Perhaps most obnoxious of all is the Speed Demon’s tendency to casually sail into a spot that someone (usually the Vulture) has been patiently waiting for.

The Reverse Parker: Much to the annoyance of other motorists, this guy or gal insists on backing into each and every spot. Never mind that it puts other cars and pedestrians in danger. Or that it increases the probability of damaging someone else’s car. Or that there’s a pull-through spot close by. The Reverse Parker…must…back…in.

The Parkfectionist: A close cousin of the Vulture, the Parkfectionist is forever on the hunt for a magical, mythical perfect parking spot. He’ll endlessly circle the parking lot in search of one that’s ever-so-slightly closer to an entrance. Parkfectionists just don’t seem to mind wasting a ton of time and gas.

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